Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
