there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
