i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
