Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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