Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize