This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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