Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
