what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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