nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize