Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
