Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We talked him into tasing himself.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
