Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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