We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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