she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
