he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
