But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He shit in the fireplace
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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