Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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