Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
