so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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