It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
