Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
