i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
