he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
ok first of all what the fuck
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
