my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
