Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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