the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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