HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
