weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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