Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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