Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
