I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
