When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
