wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
