Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
