their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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