My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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