Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
