$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
