he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
