just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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