Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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