Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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