When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
