So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
