i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
