Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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