its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
