What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
