Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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