In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
