pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
