There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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