Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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