just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
