Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
