I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
